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Everyone has gotten a call from a Telemarketer. Previously when the phone rang, you always wondered if it was someone you knew, or another schmuck with something to sell. Well, the time has come to turn the tables. We need to take control of our own phones. We need to take the "market" out of Telemarketing.
SO..next time when a telemarketer piss you off do something from this list:
1. Tell them that you are busy "right now". and should call later in 10 minutes. Tell him the same thing next time he calls for 20 times in a row. If he is persistent and calls again the 21st time tell him you are busy becouse you are dead and go kill himself to join you.
2. Prepare a recording with a child voice screaming...HELP HEEEEELP...leave me my money! and tell the telemarketer to hold the line. After 15 minutes if he is still there, hang up.
3. Tell the telemarketer that the person he is looking for is in the shower and put on hold as long as you can
4. Tell the telemarketer : "common man, i'm in the middle of a robbery here. Don't waste my time"
5. If the telemarketer is a male ask him if he enjoy playing sexual games with old ladies. If she is a lady tell her you are a virgin and need help.
6. Tell long stories about your dog and how beautiful is his skin. Everytime the telemarketer tries to speak from the script say: "just a second..just a second this story is amazing"
7. When you realize the voice on the phone is a telemarketer's ..start laughing and laughing land laughing like this guy here then after 5 minutes if he is still there, suddenly ask seriously: "Can i help you?"
8. Act like this guy. Guaranteed results.
9. Pretend to be someone else and say "God, i'm too fat" every five words.
10. Tell the telemarketer you are alone and you need a hug. Then start crying : "Maaaamaaaaa"
11. Ask the telemarkter if he/she is "gay". Please be gay. You can be Gay. My dog is gay.
12. Ask who is looking for, then say the person was killed in a homicide and you are a policeman investigating the case. This example made me fart
13. Act like a fool.
14. Answer to his questions using a soundboard. Like Al Pacino in Scarface?
15. Beware of testimonials that you have no way of verifying. Say George Bush is your uncle.
16. Register your number in Do-not-call registry
17. Keep him on the line as long as possible. If he speaks about mortgages ask him about a lot of detalis such as: mortgage refinance, what is the adjustable mortgage rate if he knows anything about mortgage taxes and so on.
18. You answer the phone normally, and upon hearing it's a telemarketer, you ask them to hold for a second while you put "Albert" on. Albert is your automated attendant.
19. You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech and apologize as you are performing an important surgical procedure
20. Try putting this on the robot. If you want to spend some money for more samples..visit A.T.A.K
21. Give the telemarketer your "bad-times e-mail adress" and after receiving his email spam back.
22. Suddenly speak in another language when you realize you speak with a telemarketer.
23. Ask the telemarketer when he/she is born, then read their horoscope from
24. if they ask you if you'd like a new free credit card, say, "I'm sorry, My mommy won't let me have a Credit Card." or "Can I use the card to pay my crack dealer?"
25. When the telemarketer says they're from an insurance company respond that you have many death threats against you and you wish to take out their highest paying insurance policy, immediately.
26. Say in perfect English, "I don't speak English, sorry"
27. Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" ... then hang up.
28. Tell them to please hold while you do your buisness. Then making farting sounds in the phone and after 30sec come back breathing hard.
29. When they start talking, begin to listen. Then, in the middle of their speech, moan and say "(name of same gender), Stop it! I'm on the phone!" Apologize to the telemarketer and let them continue to talk. Moan sensually again, and say any of the fun phrases you can think of. Example: "Oh honey don't stop it feels so GOOD!"
30. When the telemarketer calls, act very interested. Say you'll order the product, and then when they ask for your address say "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC"
31. This is good: say "Oh they moved, and give them the number of someone you hate."
32. Question the legality of every statement they make, ex. "Are you sure vacuum's are legal in my state?" ... "Are you sure I can travel without being arested?"
33. If they tell you you have won a prize (these always fake), tell them that when you entered you decided that you like the prize so much you already went out and bought it. If they ask you which model/type, tell them that you couldn't decide and bought them all.
34. Simply say "no thank you" and then smoothly offer to sell your 1988 ford f150.
35. When a telemarketer calls say: "Hey, I am on the fifth level of (game name here) and if you could just wait on hold for 5 minutes that would be great!"
36. If it is a travel agency say that you are a pothead and you want to go to Columbia. Keep asking him how much he pays for weed in Columbia, until he hangs up
37. Sing in a Mentally Insane Voice at every question they ask: "I'll never tell...I'll Never Tell, I'LL NEVER TELL!"
38. If the telemarketer asks if your parents are there, act like you get them, and then start swearing at the kid for giving the phone because it was a telemarketer.
39. Talk to them as is you are interested, then put the phone close to the toilet and simply flush.
40. Pretend to be an old man who can't hear well and speaks with a heavy accent. This gets the telemarketer yelling and repeating themselves. Every time they start to hang up begin saying how much you like the product to keep them on.
41. When the telemarketer starts talking, interupt by saying: "Wanna play the Penis game?" Then without wating for a response say: "I'll start" and scream "PENIS" as loud as you can.
42. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
43. When they attempt to sell you a product, tell them you're sorry, but you're going to jail the following day. If they wanted to call back in 4 years, you'd be happy to talk business with them.
44. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
45. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder
46. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
47. Play the Telemarketer Fun Game
48. When they ask you how was your day. Explain in much detail every event and thought of your day. Example: Well my alarm went off this morning at 6:00 and I really didn't feel like getting up but I had to...Then, I stumbled into the shower...
49. It doesn't matter what they say, but after they say it. Say something funny like "I see black dots"
50. Ask what company they represent, then say "Oh I'm sorry, that must be a horible place to work!
51. Every time they say something bang something against the phone and wait a few seconds and say "oops I dropped the phone". Then talk to them a few seconds then do it again. When they're done ask them repeat the whole thing because you fell asleep.
52. Wait for the telemarketer to go half way through his discription and say: "I lowered my cholesterol!"
53. Cry out in surprise, "Bob, IS that you? Oh my God Bob, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Bob a few brief moments of terror as he tries to figure out where the heck he could know you from.
54. When they're done explaining what they have to say, loudly yell into the phone "ahhh I just got hit in the balls, let me go check if they're all there!" whisper in to the pone just loud enough so they can hear"1...2...3...4...5" then yell "Alright! they're all there!!!"
55. Tell them you have to translate for the person they asked for because they don't speak English. Continue to "translate" by saying gobble-de-gook in the background, then scream "WE DONT WANT ANY"
56. When they ask you to buy something, say "Fine, but only if you buy my little brother. How's two dollars sound?"
57. When they start talking say something like, "Hello? Hello! Is anyone there? I can't hear you! What? I'm sorry, what was that? The signal isn't going through! I don't understand you sir? Hello? Are you there?" And then hang up.
58. Tell the telemarketer you have someone on the other line and to hold on a second, press a button on the phone and say "Hey Susan, I'll have to call you back I have one of those stupid telemarketers on the other line" press a button again and say, "Now what was it you wanted?"
59. Respond "Shhhh!!! (name they ask for) is sleeping, your too loud please be quiet" After they quiet down, say again "You're still too loud!" do this until they get to a very quiet whisper and then scream "IM SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU, YOUR TOO QUIET!!!"
60. During their speech ask "Why?" after every sentence they speak.
61. Repeat what they say. Keep repeating them until they ask you to stop, when they ask why. Reply that you are training to be a telemarketer.
62. Say "yo momma" after everything they say.
63. After every question they ask, say "maybe"
64. Say in a whisper loud enough to be heard "do you have the weed?" If the telemarketer says he's calling the police offer him some for free.
65. Say, "Hold on one second" find a large metal object and slam in on the ground as hard as you can, after doing so, yell "MY LEG" as loud as possible. Keep screaming until they hang up
66. When a telemarketer calls say : "OH, CRAP I LEFT MY BABY BROTHER ON THE MICROWAVE AGAIN" and hang up.
67. When telemarketer asks you how you are say "not so good, I just found out I have cancer, my dog got hit by a car, and my friend hung himself." Then ask "How are you?"
68. When the telemarketer calls say, "I didn't kill him, it was accident, what do you want from me?" Keep screaming the same response until they hang up.
69. Hello, you have reached the Public Safety Department, We specialize in the termination of Telemarketers. This is (your name), How may I help you today ?
70. When you answer the phone, say hello in a really low voice like the volume on your phone is down...and keep saying hello in a low voice until they hang up.
71. If you discover you are speaking with a telemarketer say : I'm sorry the number you are trying to reach is out of service, please hang up and DON'T try again.
141
Comments
Published by Adrian
on Wednesday, November 29, 2006 at 9:05 PM.
SO..next time when a telemarketer piss you off do something from this list:
1. Tell them that you are busy "right now". and should call later in 10 minutes. Tell him the same thing next time he calls for 20 times in a row. If he is persistent and calls again the 21st time tell him you are busy becouse you are dead and go kill himself to join you.
2. Prepare a recording with a child voice screaming...HELP HEEEEELP...leave me my money! and tell the telemarketer to hold the line. After 15 minutes if he is still there, hang up.
3. Tell the telemarketer that the person he is looking for is in the shower and put on hold as long as you can
4. Tell the telemarketer : "common man, i'm in the middle of a robbery here. Don't waste my time"
5. If the telemarketer is a male ask him if he enjoy playing sexual games with old ladies. If she is a lady tell her you are a virgin and need help.
6. Tell long stories about your dog and how beautiful is his skin. Everytime the telemarketer tries to speak from the script say: "just a second..just a second this story is amazing"
7. When you realize the voice on the phone is a telemarketer's ..start laughing and laughing land laughing like this guy here then after 5 minutes if he is still there, suddenly ask seriously: "Can i help you?"
8. Act like this guy. Guaranteed results.
9. Pretend to be someone else and say "God, i'm too fat" every five words.
10. Tell the telemarketer you are alone and you need a hug. Then start crying : "Maaaamaaaaa"
11. Ask the telemarkter if he/she is "gay". Please be gay. You can be Gay. My dog is gay.
12. Ask who is looking for, then say the person was killed in a homicide and you are a policeman investigating the case. This example made me fart
13. Act like a fool.
14. Answer to his questions using a soundboard. Like Al Pacino in Scarface?
15. Beware of testimonials that you have no way of verifying. Say George Bush is your uncle.
16. Register your number in Do-not-call registry
17. Keep him on the line as long as possible. If he speaks about mortgages ask him about a lot of detalis such as: mortgage refinance, what is the adjustable mortgage rate if he knows anything about mortgage taxes and so on.
18. You answer the phone normally, and upon hearing it's a telemarketer, you ask them to hold for a second while you put "Albert" on. Albert is your automated attendant.
19. You're listening intently to the telemarketer's scripted speech and apologize as you are performing an important surgical procedure
20. Try putting this on the robot. If you want to spend some money for more samples..visit A.T.A.K
21. Give the telemarketer your "bad-times e-mail adress" and after receiving his email spam back.
22. Suddenly speak in another language when you realize you speak with a telemarketer.
23. Ask the telemarketer when he/she is born, then read their horoscope from
24. if they ask you if you'd like a new free credit card, say, "I'm sorry, My mommy won't let me have a Credit Card." or "Can I use the card to pay my crack dealer?"
25. When the telemarketer says they're from an insurance company respond that you have many death threats against you and you wish to take out their highest paying insurance policy, immediately.
26. Say in perfect English, "I don't speak English, sorry"
27. Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" ... then hang up.
28. Tell them to please hold while you do your buisness. Then making farting sounds in the phone and after 30sec come back breathing hard.
29. When they start talking, begin to listen. Then, in the middle of their speech, moan and say "(name of same gender), Stop it! I'm on the phone!" Apologize to the telemarketer and let them continue to talk. Moan sensually again, and say any of the fun phrases you can think of. Example: "Oh honey don't stop it feels so GOOD!"
30. When the telemarketer calls, act very interested. Say you'll order the product, and then when they ask for your address say "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC"
31. This is good: say "Oh they moved, and give them the number of someone you hate."
32. Question the legality of every statement they make, ex. "Are you sure vacuum's are legal in my state?" ... "Are you sure I can travel without being arested?"
33. If they tell you you have won a prize (these always fake), tell them that when you entered you decided that you like the prize so much you already went out and bought it. If they ask you which model/type, tell them that you couldn't decide and bought them all.
34. Simply say "no thank you" and then smoothly offer to sell your 1988 ford f150.
35. When a telemarketer calls say: "Hey, I am on the fifth level of (game name here) and if you could just wait on hold for 5 minutes that would be great!"
36. If it is a travel agency say that you are a pothead and you want to go to Columbia. Keep asking him how much he pays for weed in Columbia, until he hangs up
37. Sing in a Mentally Insane Voice at every question they ask: "I'll never tell...I'll Never Tell, I'LL NEVER TELL!"
38. If the telemarketer asks if your parents are there, act like you get them, and then start swearing at the kid for giving the phone because it was a telemarketer.
39. Talk to them as is you are interested, then put the phone close to the toilet and simply flush.
40. Pretend to be an old man who can't hear well and speaks with a heavy accent. This gets the telemarketer yelling and repeating themselves. Every time they start to hang up begin saying how much you like the product to keep them on.
41. When the telemarketer starts talking, interupt by saying: "Wanna play the Penis game?" Then without wating for a response say: "I'll start" and scream "PENIS" as loud as you can.
42. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
43. When they attempt to sell you a product, tell them you're sorry, but you're going to jail the following day. If they wanted to call back in 4 years, you'd be happy to talk business with them.
44. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
45. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder
46. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
47. Play the Telemarketer Fun Game
48. When they ask you how was your day. Explain in much detail every event and thought of your day. Example: Well my alarm went off this morning at 6:00 and I really didn't feel like getting up but I had to...Then, I stumbled into the shower...
49. It doesn't matter what they say, but after they say it. Say something funny like "I see black dots"
50. Ask what company they represent, then say "Oh I'm sorry, that must be a horible place to work!
51. Every time they say something bang something against the phone and wait a few seconds and say "oops I dropped the phone". Then talk to them a few seconds then do it again. When they're done ask them repeat the whole thing because you fell asleep.
52. Wait for the telemarketer to go half way through his discription and say: "I lowered my cholesterol!"
53. Cry out in surprise, "Bob, IS that you? Oh my God Bob, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Bob a few brief moments of terror as he tries to figure out where the heck he could know you from.
54. When they're done explaining what they have to say, loudly yell into the phone "ahhh I just got hit in the balls, let me go check if they're all there!" whisper in to the pone just loud enough so they can hear"1...2...3...4...5" then yell "Alright! they're all there!!!"
55. Tell them you have to translate for the person they asked for because they don't speak English. Continue to "translate" by saying gobble-de-gook in the background, then scream "WE DONT WANT ANY"
56. When they ask you to buy something, say "Fine, but only if you buy my little brother. How's two dollars sound?"
57. When they start talking say something like, "Hello? Hello! Is anyone there? I can't hear you! What? I'm sorry, what was that? The signal isn't going through! I don't understand you sir? Hello? Are you there?" And then hang up.
58. Tell the telemarketer you have someone on the other line and to hold on a second, press a button on the phone and say "Hey Susan, I'll have to call you back I have one of those stupid telemarketers on the other line" press a button again and say, "Now what was it you wanted?"
59. Respond "Shhhh!!! (name they ask for) is sleeping, your too loud please be quiet" After they quiet down, say again "You're still too loud!" do this until they get to a very quiet whisper and then scream "IM SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU, YOUR TOO QUIET!!!"
60. During their speech ask "Why?" after every sentence they speak.
61. Repeat what they say. Keep repeating them until they ask you to stop, when they ask why. Reply that you are training to be a telemarketer.
62. Say "yo momma" after everything they say.
63. After every question they ask, say "maybe"
64. Say in a whisper loud enough to be heard "do you have the weed?" If the telemarketer says he's calling the police offer him some for free.
65. Say, "Hold on one second" find a large metal object and slam in on the ground as hard as you can, after doing so, yell "MY LEG" as loud as possible. Keep screaming until they hang up
66. When a telemarketer calls say : "OH, CRAP I LEFT MY BABY BROTHER ON THE MICROWAVE AGAIN" and hang up.
67. When telemarketer asks you how you are say "not so good, I just found out I have cancer, my dog got hit by a car, and my friend hung himself." Then ask "How are you?"
68. When the telemarketer calls say, "I didn't kill him, it was accident, what do you want from me?" Keep screaming the same response until they hang up.
69. Hello, you have reached the Public Safety Department, We specialize in the termination of Telemarketers. This is (your name), How may I help you today ?
70. When you answer the phone, say hello in a really low voice like the volume on your phone is down...and keep saying hello in a low voice until they hang up.
71. If you discover you are speaking with a telemarketer say : I'm sorry the number you are trying to reach is out of service, please hang up and DON'T try again.
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haha thanks to whoever did this. i am going to use these all the time.
God, lame.
Interesting....interesting. I've thought of better.
My twin and I and my co workers (we're technically telemarketers ourselves) laughed so hard at all of these.
Thank you.
yeah that was pretty funny i laughed a lot when i read those
Great post, lots of laughs!
i love it since i am young i can do it without getting in trouble so i am gonna do some thanx
i have some to add...for #67be like he warned me but i just didnt listen then start crying snd mking a big deal- hope you like my idea ill probably have more
Talk about writting on a resentment. What a waste of time Im an extremely good telemarketer and need all the information I can. Ive never hung up on nobody and joking about death is not cool. I have acually gone out of my way and sent potential clients that I have called a get well card. You, I would of hung up the phone on you and never played this pathetic resentful game. what a waste of your time and who ever calls you who never has telemarked. Thanks.
i have one thing to say. if ur a really good telemarketer, then u are essentially a great jackass!
HAHA while i was reading these guess who called :P hehe poor telemarketer :L
“Im an extremely good telemarketer”
Ya, nothing like the intelligence of a stick to recite a script?
Some of these are kind of rude but others are funny but still RUDE!! I mean this poor person is trying to do their job and just want it over with. So just say no thanks and hang up.
sometimes ive sent getwell cards to telemarketers...
omg i used the one where youre like oh crap i left my baby in the microwave again!and then they were like oh my goodness do you need an ambulance!? it was hilarious.
I love your advise. I am online telemarketer and it happen that your blog is about telemarketing so that is the reason that they are targeting you.
And as a telemarketer, I learned those possible answers and i will think of possible counter. Anyway, we have well train call agents and we make sure the calling is done at proper time with utmost courtesy.
try to sell a couch... this has gotten telemarketers violent and annoyed. then call back and tell the manager that you're one of those people that test the company... lololol
wow. great ! thnx appreciate it !
When they ask for (name) tell them that (name) is doing 25 years for hunting down and killing a telemarketer, then ask for their name and address so (name) can get ahold of them when he gets released next monday.
i usually just answer the fone and yell! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! till they hang up it works every time
i usually just answer and go AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! and it either scares them or makes them hang up :D
Hey kiddies, listen up - I'm about to drop some knowledge from the other side:
I recently graduated from college and, so far, haven't had much luck pursuing a professional job. I'm going to grad school next fall, but in the meantime I'm working at a call center, calling people about services they may have requested information on, but usually they have no idea why I'm calling. It is a horrible job.
Many times people got signed up to hear about these services by filling out an online survey, going to a site looking for a job, or trying to win a free laptop or something equally asinine. I don't like the fact that we get people's information in these ways, but we do. So here are a few tips for the wise:
1) Be CAREFUL when you're filling out information online. READ the small print. READ the boxes that are checked underneath what you're filling out - you never know if a check in a box is going to earn you (and me) a lot of aggravation when you get calls you thought you never asked for (but technically did). I know it's hard work, but try to read what you're signing up for on the internet.
2) TALK to telemarketers. The very best way to get us to stop calling is to tell us in a courteous and rational way that you are not interested at all in what we are offering. If the caller is obnoxiously persistent, LIE and tell them they must have the wrong number, and no one by that name lives there. We won't waste our time calling the wrong person. Problem solved.
And finally, 3) Some words to the not-so-wise: It's not smart to piss off telemarketers too much. We've got saintly patience when it comes to silly pranks and even being cursed out (to a degree). But if you're going to pull some crap like an air horn or - my personal favorite - screaming at the top of your lungs, we're going to have problems. In many cases, telemarketers have A LOT of your information: your phone number (obviously), email address, street address, sometimes even birth date. We aren't paid enough to be responsible with this information, so if you damage my hearing or offend me to an outrageous degree some other way, I WILL NOT hesitate to sign you up for all the spam and phone calls in the world. It's going to happen, and it's fun for me.
In summation, remember, telemarketers are people too, just like you. We have friends, families and feelings - oh, and a lot of your contact information. So play nice.
"We have friends, families and feelings - oh, and a lot of your contact information. So play nice."
(twilight theme)
Do you people understand that telemarketers are people, working hard to make a living to support their families, just like you. Most have regular jobs during the day, but can't quite cut their bills. Also, they actually bring the service to the customer and are very successful for most business'. Maybe think before you treat someone who is just trying to make some money and wiork with a little respect. Side note, the person who wrote this should either, go finish school, or go get a real job, instead of putting down others who actually work. thanks for playing.
Hahahaha! Got to try some of these. Thanks for sharing this post.
Ok we have all been there rushed out of the shower when the phones rang nearly killed ourselves slipping on a wet bathroom floor in our haste to grab a towel and rush to the phone. Thinking it may be important only to be met by "Hello this is Colin at WeaponsRus and what we are doing today is calling people in your area to make them aware of our products. Have you ever considered owning you own nuclear/biological arsenal at all Sir/Madam? Because we have some great deals on offer at the moment..." "Grr No I am not interested thank you please take my number off your list." says you and off you tramp soaking and now slightly chilled to resume your shower. Well now you can get your own back on these annoying callers by simply downloading software designed to allow you to record telephone conversations through your PC but the beauty of it is you can also place a caller on hold just like they do and this is where the fun starts. The next time you get an annoying call from Colin simply say "Hey that's great you know what's wierd only the other day I was discussing with my other half about building a nuclear missile launch silo in the back garden but I just need to go in the other room and turn down the TV/Radio would you mind if I put you on hold for a moment. "Sure no problem" Colin will say no doubt thinking of the comission he's about to get from the possible sale. So using your computer software you put him on hold now just letting Colin listen to the bog standard music and messages that the software provides would be boring and I suggest using extracts of "Blondies Hanging on the telephone" for irony coupled with your own set of random options for this press 1 for that press 2 but always remember to say or hold the line. If you are really sadistic one of the options could be "To pay using a debit or credit card press 4" then after the message get your other half to take them off hold and say "Hi can I take your debit or credit card number please?" Of course Colin confused will say "Sorry I'm wanting to speak to...." at which point your other half repeats the request for card details after Colin has managed to explain they say "Oh it must be my colleague you was speaking to just one moment while I put you on hold to transfer you" and puts them back on hold eventually they will hang up and the game is to see how long you can give them the run around before they do so.
Ok we have all been there rushed out of the shower when the phones rang nearly killed ourselves slipping on a wet bathroom floor in our haste to grab a towel and rush to the phone. Thinking it may be important only to be met by "Hello this is Colin at WeaponsRus and what we are doing today is calling people in your area to make them aware of our products. Have you ever considered owning you own nuclear/biological arsenal at all Sir/Madam? Because we have some great deals on offer at the moment..." "Grr No I am not interested thank you please take my number off your list." says you and off you tramp soaking and now slightly chilled to resume your shower. Well now you can get your own back on these annoying callers by simply downloading software designed to allow you to record telephone conversations through your PC but the beauty of it is you can also place a caller on hold just like they do and this is where the fun starts. The next time you get an annoying call from Colin simply say "Hey that's great you know what's wierd only the other day I was discussing with my other half about building a nuclear missile launch silo in the back garden but I just need to go in the other room and turn down the TV/Radio would you mind if I put you on hold for a moment. "Sure no problem" Colin will say no doubt thinking of the comission he's about to get from the possible sale. So using your computer software you put him on hold now just letting Colin listen to the bog standard music and messages that the software provides would be boring and I suggest using extracts of "Blondies Hanging on the telephone" for irony coupled with your own set of random options for this press 1 for that press 2 but always remember to say or hold the line. If you are really sadistic one of the options could be "To pay using a debit or credit card press 4" then after the message get your other half to take them off hold and say "Hi can I take your debit or credit card number please?" Of course Colin confused will say "Sorry I'm wanting to speak to...." at which point your other half repeats the request for card details after Colin has managed to explain they say "Oh it must be my colleague you was speaking to just one moment while I put you on hold to transfer you" and puts them back on hold eventually they will hang up and the game is to see how long you can give them the run around before they do so.
Guess what?! I got one. When you answer, and if you have gas, fart into the phone as hard as possible, or, act REALLY GAY!
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Some amusing responses here - some cruel and some just funny. Telemarkaeting is not going to go away though, with over 600 telemarketing companies in the UK it is alive and well!
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Some interesting ideas if you don't like UK based telemarketing
What I hate about those telemarketers is that they keep on ringing everyday offering their out of the world services and products.
Do you people understand that telemarketers are people, working hard to make a living to support their families, just like you.
One of the best things about telemarketers who call, and it's a real stumper for most of them, is to say that yes, I actually am the owner of a telemarketing company and I enjoy being cold called since I use it as a recruiting technique. Here at smoothtalk if you can last on the phone for a good while, are persistent, and can armwrestle with current staff, we'll actually offer you a job
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I laught so hard when I read this.
When ever you try to talk ploitly to them & ask them to take you off the list, they always hang up. The only way to get them to stop calling is to annoy them & get them to fear you for you will only annoy him & not buy from him. Telemarketers are dumb & are the ones who got stuck with this job, not us, and they choose thier life & job by thier own schooling. Most of them are video game obsessed freaks. Pretty soon there are going to be universities for good-for-nothing-telemarketers. The only thing they are good for is being pranked on for calling.
if they are indian make them pronounce words with oo's in it like noodle or poodle they always fuck up them laugh at them and tell them to learn better english before they steal more outsourced jobs
the local newspaper called and called. I said take me off your list everytime. Well one afternoon about ready to crack another beer the phone rang guess who it was. This actually worked.
Me: "does your paper come in braile?
telemareter: "oh sir I am so sorry. I will remove you right now" guess who never called again :)
yrs ago I got a call and I was on the other line with my girlfriend. I told him I am on the other line. He said go ahead sir I can wait." I then said I am on the other line what do you want? that happened like three times. I then told him I AM ON THE OTHER LINE AND MY BEER IS GETTING WARM WHAT DO YOU F'''ING WANT?? he said did did you just curse t me? I said yes what do you f'''ing want? and hung up. Well get this guess who called.. He said I called last week and you were busy do you have a moment? I told HIM KIND OF BUSY WHAT DO YOU F"""ING WANT (he hung up on me) lol
make sure to ask them who they are and tell them sorry mr/mrs **** you are in violation of fcc code ####### article a. of the national do not call registry you are being reported and fined thankyou 'click'
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I think he pissed off the pay day loans guy haha
I'm going to tell you why telemarketers are shit faced twats: you keep running your mouth when someone calmly and kindly says "no thank you I'm not interested, please take me off your call list." For some reason you think I might change my mind about what ever the hell you are trying to sell. Never mind that your job is a total sham. You people just don't know how to be good sports about not being able to sell your shit, and move on to the next call. I hate you all. And please believe it is my goal to fuck with every twat faced tele-fucker that has the bad luck to draw my number from the hat. Have a good day and fuck you very much!
I think he pissed off the pay day loans guy haha
I am a telemarketer. My job is boring, but I love the work. I spend my days calling people and getting lame responses about who is home, who is not home, who wants to buy vacuum cleaners, and who does not want to buy vacuum cleaners. I have to stick to a script, I work the graveyard shift, and coffee is 50 cents a mug at my workplace. But then there is the one guy every once in a while who makes up some shit about their dead grandma or the company they work for or tries to sell me a litter of piglets. Makes my day every time. I laugh with them (one time I laughed when someone's grandma died, but found out they were serious). What I am saying is is that it is funny to an extent. But when you keep us on the hook for hours not telling us if you are going to buy, or insulting my religion, that is what gets me down. Be nice, but keep up the good work. :)
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Ask if they have a kid. Say you'd like to watch while they put a gun in the kid's mouth and then pull the trigger. Tell them you hope they die. Ask if this is the only job a meth-head like them can get. Ask how they liked prison. Ask if you can rape their wife/child.
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It's true. Last year I got 4 calls a day from "US Solar" and I began by being very polite and asking to be removed from the call list. Then upgraded a few weeks in to asking to speak to a supervisor, only to be hung up on. Eventually to start losing my shit on them 4 times a day asking them, "do you seriously believe that if you call me 10 times a day I'm eventually going to give in and buy whatever you're selling just so you'll leave me alone?" ... I don't bother with that shit anymore. Now my kids know just by the look on my face that I'm talking to a telemarketerband I begin every single response with "according to the prophecy", followed by some cult sounding lunacy until they hang up on me. And I get a lot fewer calls than I used to. And instead of being aggravated myself, I get to transfer all those negative feelings to the asshole bothering me and I feel pretty good about that. And sure sometimes I do get that this is just some dude in Arizona trying to earn a living and I feel for him because once upon a time in my youth I was a telemarketer for 6 months and I get it... But that was also back in the days when telemarketers had to follow rules and they didn't have special dialers to hide their number from even the phone company so they can't be traced and they can make it look like they're calling from the house next door. And half the time now they aren't innocent young Americans just trying to earn a living. Now they're middle westerners pretending to work for "your computer manufacturer" or "Windows 10 Services" regarding scam error reports... So sorry, not sorry, I feel no guilt over giving these people the air horn...
شركة النور الدولية شركة متخصصة فى مجال النقل والتخزين والمقاولات وجميع خدمات الصيانة نحن لدينا عمالةمدربة فى كل مجال لذلك نعرض عليكم الان خدماتنا
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شركة النور الدولية من افضل الشركات التى تقوم على مكافحة جميع انواع الحشرات وتستخدم افضل انواع الرش لمكافحة الحشرات وتستحدم افضل احدث الاجهزة التى تصل الى اصعب الاماكن
لزيارة موقعنا
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What a long list
تسربات المياه بالدمام
تسربات المياه بالخبر
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تسربات المياه بالاحساء
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تتميز شركتنا بعدة أمور ونتميز في شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة بعدة عوامل هامة تجعلنا أفضل شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة وفي مكة المكرمة توجد لدينا شركة تنظيف خزانات بمكة المكرمة وايضا في المدينة المنورة نمتلك شركة تنظيف خزانات بالمدينة المنورة وفي مدينة الطائف اسسنا شركة تنظيف خزانات بالطائف فتقوم تلك الشركات بجميع خدمات التنظيف ومنها تنظيف الخزانات بجدة ومكة والطائف والمدينة سواء كانت العلوية أو السفلية وتعقيمها تعقيم تام بأفضل أنواع المطهرات وأيضا لدينا في شركة صيانة خزانات بجدة خدمات متنوعة فنحن تقوم بعمل كشف على خزانك ولو وجد خلل بالخزان تقوم بتصليح خزانك ونقوم بعمل اللازم وعمل اصلاح خزانات المياه. نضمن لك عزيزي العميل بان تكون عملية الصيانة والتنظيف تتم على أكمل وجه فلدينا فريق محترف خاص بعملية تنظيف وتعقيم الخزانات بجدة واخلاءها من الأتربة والترسبات الموجودة بقاع الخزان وترك الخزان نظيف تماما من جميع الأتربة والشوائب الموجودة بالقاع.
تريد حل قوي وفعال في التخلص من الحشرات في منزلك ليس امامك افضل من شركة مكافحة حشرات بجدة وفي حاجة إلى شركة رائدة تخلصك من الحشرات المنتشرة حولك فأليك الأن أقوى شركات منطقة جدة ومكة والطائف شركة مكافحة حشرات بجدة وكذلك في مكة المكرمة لدينا شركة مكافحة حشرات بمكة المكرمة ولدينا شركة رش مبيدات بالطائف متخصصة و شركة مكافحة حشرات بالطائف تعمل على مكافحة الحشرات المختلفة في المنازل والمزارع والحدائق والشوارع والفلل والقصور وغيرها من الأماكن المختلفة حيث توفر لك الخدمات اللازمة في حل مشاكلك الصعبة المتعلقة بالحشرات المنزلية.
ولو تريد شركة لكي تنظف خزانك فاليك اقوي شركات جدة شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة متخصصة ولها خبرة كبيرة في مجال تنظيف الخزانات
لو تريد حل قوي وفعال في التخلص من الحشرات في منزلك ليس امامك افضل من شركة مكافحة حشرات بجدة وفي حاجة إلى شركة رائدة تخلصك من الحشرات المنتشرة حولك فأليك الأن أقوى شركات منطقة جدة ومكة والطائف شركة مكافحة حشرات بجدة وكذلك في مكة المكرمة لدينا شركة مكافحة حشرات بمكة المكرمة ولدينا شركة رش مبيدات بالطائف متخصصة و شركة مكافحة حشرات بالطائف تعمل على مكافحة الحشرات المختلفة في المنازل والمزارع والحدائق والشوارع والفلل والقصور وغيرها من الأماكن المختلفة حيث توفر لك الخدمات اللازمة في حل مشاكلك الصعبة المتعلقة بالحشرات المنزلية.
ولو تريد شركة لكي تنظف خزانك فاليك اقوي شركات جدة شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة متخصصة ولها خبرة كبيرة في مجال تنظيف الخزانات
ومن ضمن خدمات التنظيف نجد ان شركة تنظيف منازل بجدة من افضل الشركات التي تتعامل مع منزلك بالتنظيف وتعتبر ايضا شركة تنظيف بجدة متخصصة ولديها خبرة كبيرة
افضل شركة تنظيف بالخبر
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haha, that's a good one.
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